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International Couples Series: Ashley & Borja

I’m so excited to feature Ashley and Borja on The Quirky Pineapple for the International Couples Series!! Although Borja is from Spain and Ashley from Canada, and they both live in Spain currently, you’d be surprised they didn’t meet here. Where did they meet, y’all ask? Well, I’ll let their interview explain all of the cute and quirky details of their love story, which started in a little sushi restaurant.

They’ve just been engaged (CONGRATULATIONS!!!) and are currently in the process of planning their wedding in their free time. I was reading through their interview, and instantly felt like they were long time friends recounting funny stories and sharing bits of their personal life with me. I’m sure y’all will enjoy reading this interview as much as I did!

Continue reading to learn a bit more about this fun and quirky couple, who started their love story in a little sushi restaurant, while one person made rice and the other made the maki! (:

The Quirky Pineapple:ย Tell me your love story! (: Where did you both meet, who made the first move, how did it come about?ย 

People generally assume that we met in Spain, since itโ€™s where weโ€™ve been living forย the last two years, but we actually met in London, in 2011. At that time Borja wasย doing what many young Spanish people have done since the crisis and moved toย England to study English and work. That same year I applied for a Youth Mobilityย Scheme visa and moved there during the summer, between university semesters,ย with a friend from Canada. Borja and I met at work. We both worked at a sushiย restaurant in central London- Borja made the rice and I made the maki (sometimesย we still make sushi at home)!

Even though we both think itโ€™s the other, it was probably actually me who made theย first move. After meeting at work (Borja had just been hired) the company held aย party for our restaurant and I asked for his number.ย I think the thing that most helped our relationship along was how close we lived toย one another. London is massive and it just so happened that we lived a mere 15-minute walk from one another. That had to be fate, right?

TQP:ย Where are you living now? If itโ€™s not both of your home countries, whyย there? What do you like about it?

Home sweet home is currently Burgos, Spain. Weโ€™ve been in this city for a year, afterย 8 months in small town near Bilbao and a period in Canada after leaving London. Weย both adore Burgos! Itโ€™s incredibly beautiful, and we live in the historic centre so weย can really appreciate all of the old architecture here on a daily basis. We also loveย the size; Burgos has a population of about 180 000 people, which works just rightย for us! It has all of the things we need and whatever we donโ€™t have we usually go toย Madrid for as itโ€™s just two hours away. Plus, the restaurant and pintxo scene here isย incredible!

International Couples Series ft Borja & Ashley -- The Quirky Pineapple
Castro Urdiales, Spain (September 2014)

TQP:ย What languages do you both speak? Which is the common language that youย communicate in?

I speak English, Spanish and French. Borja speaks Spanish and English, and heโ€™sย currently learning French (which rocks because I have someone to watch Frenchย films with now).

Whenever people ask my answer is usually 80%-20%; we speak Spanish 80% of theย time and English about 20%. Of course it varies from day to day, but the truth is thatย Spanish has really taken over since we moved back to Spain because Iโ€™ve wanted toย become more fluent. I think itโ€™s interesting that thatโ€™s the case when you considerย that in the first years of our relationship we exclusively used English because Iย spoke zero Spanish. Nada!

TQP:ย What are your nationalities? What are your ethnic backgrounds?

Borja is Spanish and Iโ€™m Canadian!

TQP:ย What is the most frustrating thing or has been the most frustratingย thing about being in an international, intercultural and interlanguage relationship?

There are so many things! But for us the top most frustrating part of being in anย international relationship has been being together. With one of us being from Northย America and the other from Europe it made it impossibly difficult to be together!ย For the majority of our relationship we dealt with applying for visas, expired visas,ย leaving our jobs and being unemployed in the otherโ€™s country, long-distance andย leaving home. It was endlessly challenging, but we both agree that since we survivedย all of that and made it through together we can get through anything.

TQP:ย What was or is one thing about your partnerโ€™s culture that was theย hardest to get used to?

ASHLEY: Just about everything about Spain was hard for me to get used to. Espaรฑa esย mucha Espaรฑa! This countryโ€™s culture was nothing short of completelyย overwhelming for me- it probably didnโ€™t help that I didnโ€™t speak Spanish when I firstย started coming here- and it took me a few years to get used to. I found everythingย from family life to meal times, from Spanish old wivesโ€™ tales to nightlife, generalย habits to how people dress really different from the Canadian norm.

BORJA: Apart from the weather?! hahaha. One of the most difficult things to get usedย to was the need for the car, everything in Canada is so spread out, even if you wantย to have a coffee, you need to take the car to drive to the nearest coffee shop, whichย may be 5-10km away. Also, not having bread (baguette style) on my table every dayย to eat my food with was so difficult! Finally, not having shops or bars on the streets,ย only in commercial centres or the old town, made it difficult to hang out with friendsย as I was used to in Spain, where we go for a walk just because and meet people weย know along the way.

International Couples Series ft Borja & Ashley -- The Quirky Pineapple
St. John’s, Canada (August 2014 — Ashley’s hometown!)

TQP:ย What is the one thing about your partnerโ€™s culture that you love theย most?

ASHLEY:ย Spanish food, of course! The Spanish know their food and food is cultureย here. I love that meals are still prepared at home and eaten with the whole family inย many households. I love that Spanish people eat seasonally, changing their recipesย depending of the fresh produce available during each season. I love sobremesa, theย way that Spanish people hang around the table after a long weekend meal, drinkingย coffee or having dessert and simply catching up with one another. And I adore theย Spanish wine!

BORJA:ย Even if itโ€™s the same for some in Spain, I have to say the love for nature;ย everything in Canada, as far as I have seen, is so green and clean! They go for hikesย or to a pond to have picnics, and it was amazing for me. Another thing that I have toย say is that they are very open and friendly to foreign people and foreign food.

TQP:ย What have you adopted from your partnerโ€™s culture that you would tryย (or want) to incorporate into your own?

ASHLEY:ย I think that in any international/intercultural relationships one culture willย usually dominate the other, without anyone really taking notice. Iโ€™ve really fallenย into the Spanish culture and accepted it as my own (Borja promises Iโ€™m at least aย fourth Spanish at this point). But that doesnโ€™t mean Iโ€™ve completely abandoned myย own.

If I could choose a handful of things that Iโ€™ve taken from Borjaโ€™s culture toย incorporate into Canadian culture Iโ€™d probably choose: 1) eating seasonally (whenย possible, itโ€™s hard to ask that of a country that has to import so much of itโ€™sย produce), 2) enjoying free time more (Spanish people take advantage of the freeย time they have to meet for a coffee and catch up with friends, which is reallyย important in our increasingly busy society), 3) being more family oriented (mostย Spanish families are a lot closer than the families I know in Canada, which is a readyย made support system that we could be taking advantage of).

BORJA:ย Probably, more multicultural cities and events, and open restaurants withย foreign cuisine. Also, they are really sure of their Canadian identity, having flagsย everywhere, having a bank holiday when everyone celebrates Canada Day andย singing their anthem. Finally, I have to confess that I enjoyed the big breakfasts andย brunch time, in Spain we have a glass of milk with cookies and we are ready to work,ย but Canadians spend their time eating well with toast, scrambled eggs, fruit,ย coffeeโ€ฆI miss it!

TQP:ย Can you describe a funny situation when you were โ€œlost inย translation/cultureโ€?

ASHLEY:ย Oh! Weโ€™ve had so, so many of those, especially at the beginning of ourย relationship before I spoke Spanish and while Borja was still learning English. I loveย telling people about the first summer I spent in Spanish, living with Borjaโ€™s familyย and trying, desperately, to form coherent sentences in Spanish. This particularย incident didnโ€™t involve Borja, but his mum. One day it was really hot outside andย Borjaโ€™s mum offered to take me to a cute cafรฉ to have a drink while waiting for Borjaย to get off work. We had barely arrived when she asked me what I wanted. I repliedย with โ€œun cafรฉโ€ (a coffee), to which she replied โ€œcon hielo?โ€ (with ice). I had aย seriously basic level of Spanish and had never heard the word ice in Spanish before.ย As she continued to repeat the word my brain kept hearing โ€œyellowโ€ (hilo reallyย does sound an awful lot like yellow) even though I knew that that couldnโ€™t beย possible because the Spanish word for yellow is amarillo. We continued thisย confused banter for a few moments before Borjaโ€™s mum decided to help me out byย going inside to order one โ€œcafรฉ con hieloโ€ (coffee with ice) in order to bring it outsideย and show me, by pointing her finger to her cup, the meaning of hielo.

BORJA:ย As Ashley says, we have had so many of those on a daily basis, but nowadaysย less than before. But what I do not have an excuse for (after nearly 5 years in thisย relationship) is still confusing the word constipated with having a head coldย (congested in Spanish is constipado, so you can understand the confusion). Sorry, butย the Spanish word is so close!

International Couples Series ft Borja & Ashley -- The Quirky Pineapple
Valencia, Spain (Las Fallas 2016)

TQP:ย Where do you both plan on living in the future?

We really take it little by little. We havenโ€™t got any extravagant plans about ourย future, other than being together, but for the foreseeable future we both agree thatย weโ€™ll be in Spain. Weโ€™re both really happy living here. We both have jobs and I haveย permanent residence now (no more visas, yay!). Plus, the cost of living in Spain is aย lot more affordable than in Canada, which really helped sway the decision to move,ย and stay, here.

TQP:ย Do you have any suggestions or advice for people who find themselvesย in an international, intercultural and interlanguage relationship?

ASHLEY:ย Patience. You must be patient with one anther for a relationship like this toย work. Naturally I donโ€™t mean all the time (we arenโ€™t saints, we lose our tempers too),ย but this type of relationship is atypical and will test you, youโ€™ll need that patience toย keep sane when everything seems different and to keep your relationship togetherย when bureaucracy or language barriers make things tough.

BORJA:ย Have patience, open your mind and enjoy the experience. Of course, youย cannot be afraid of leaving things behind, you will learn a lot if you do!

TQP: Extra Question!ย What is the one dish that your partner cooks, from their culture, that is yourย absolute favourite?

ASHLEY:ย This is an incredibly difficult question. Much to his parentsโ€™ surprise Borja isย really great in the kitchen (his mum and younger brother must have had rubbed off onย him in the last few years). He often makes traditional Spanish foods or favourites fromย his mumโ€™s kitchen and gives them a vegetarian spin so I can eat them! His veggieย croquetas or pimientos rellenos probably top the list for me!

BORJA:ย Although Ashley is vegetarian she still cooks meat for me sometimes. Her stuffedย turkey (or chicken normally in Spain) โ€œimportedโ€ from Canada breaks my heartโ€ฆin aย positive way. Almost forgot, GRAVY is amazing!

International Couples Series ft Borja & Ashley -- The Quirky Pineapple
Donostia, Spain (November 2014)

Thank you so much, Ashley and Borja, for participating in the International Couples Series!! It was really fun reading through your answers and chuckling at a few of them. Borja is right, gravy is pretty amazing… and I absolutely miss it almost every other day. Again, congratulations to both of you on your engagement! I’m so excited for y’all and for your future!! One day, the boyfriend and I will have to make it up to Burgos to visit and meet you!

If you’re interested in reading more about Ashley and Borja’s life in Burgos, Spain, you can check out Ashley’s blog: ComoPerderseenEspana.com and follow her on Instagram. Her blog has got a section completely dedicated to vegetarian restaurants in Spain! Also, if you are in an international, intercultural and/or interlanguage relationship with someone you met while traveling or living abroad, and would like to be interviewed for the International Couples Series, please contact me! (: I’d love to share your love story on The Quirky Pineapple!

 

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