If you’re like me, then we both have the same problem. We like to give and give, generously without asking for anything in return. While growing up, I’ve always been the person to listen to all of my friends’ problems and worry about them before myself. While with my sisters, I would try to take care of their things before I took care of my own. If you’re nodding your head and agreeing to all of this, then we are soulmates!
One of my passions is taking care of others. I thrive in the hospitality realm because I love “taking care” of people! The fact that I am a people pleaser is also a big factor in why I put others needs before my own most of the time. It wasn’t until my time in college, going through a bad break up and picking up my things to move across the Atlantic Ocean did I learn that I needed to put myself first. It was scary, especially because I didn’t want to come off as selfish or uncaring. Let me tell you this: It is OK to put yourself first and NO, you will NOT come off as selfish or uncaring.
Yes, read that again and repeat it to yourself: It is OK to put yourself first! And it is also totally normal to want to do it! Taking care of others is an amazing quality. But, when you start putting other people’s needs before your own, you start getting burnt out and tired. Take it from someone who has been there. I was sick and tired of getting used and taken advantage of because I was trying to be nice. I started standing up for myself and learned that I needed to become more assertive and more vocal about MY wants and MY needs. I’m challenging y’all for the remainder of August, to put yourselves first and here’s how:
Your time is valuable
When you’re taking care of other people all the time, you don’t have time to take care of yourself. You NEED to take care of yourself, first! What I learned through becoming a health & wellness coach is that if you don’t take care of yourself first, you will not be able to take care of others. I didn’t understand it at first. I thought I could still take care of other people and then take care of myself later. This meant I used my time to do things for other people and would later not have time for any of my own activities.
When I used my time to do things for other people, I didn’t have enough hours in the day to do them all! I kept agreeing to things that people would ask for, saying yes because I wanted to help. In the end, it left me feeling bitter and upset because I felt obligated to do everything for everyone. Although I love helping others and taking care of people, I started to feel resentful for it. Your time is valuable. Your time is for YOU. Now, I always set time for myself to relax, work on my activities and workout. This time re-energizes me and after getting my own things done, I’m able to tackle any thing else that I have time for. This could mean helping someone or doing a favor for my family or friends. YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE! Always remember to set aside time for yourself throughout the day.
If you just don’t have enough time in the day for your own things, chances are you’re reaching for the sweets and salty foods. When we’re put under stress or worried about something, one of the most common ways for ourselves to cope is by stress eating. Stress eating usually doesn’t involve eating the healthiest options out there. When I’m stress eating, I reach for a lot for fried foods, chocolate and high salt content snacks. It’s not only the food I’m eating, it’s also the quantity of those foods I’m eating! If I’m having a bad day, a bag of chips can most likely be finished in one sitting.
I was gaining weight and my skin was looking horrendous! I felt sluggish and tired because I wasn’t feeding my body what it needed. Learning not to give in to those crazy cravings or modify them has been a BIG struggle. There are days where I still crave french fries and fried chicken, trust me! If I gave in to my cravings all the time and didn’t watch what I ate, my body would be struggling. My mental health would also be tested. Living a healthy lifestyle involves eating a healthy diet and getting regular exercise. I didn’t like exercising at first. It was a big hurdle for me to overcome. But I could feel my body craving a routine and activities. Once I started to feed my body whole foods and added in exercise, I felt more energetic! I wasn’t getting tired in the middle of the day and I created a regular routine, which helped to make sure I had time for myself. You have one body to carry out all of the amazing goals and dreams you want! Make sure you’re able to be the best version of yourself, clean eating and exercise through out the week makes it easier!
“ME” Days! A Day for Yourself!
We are busy people, with busy lives. We all have responsibilities and obligations that we need to take care of. We have expectations placed on us from ourselves and from other people. The pressure to “have it all together” all the time is ridiculous! Who the heck has it all together all the time? If you’ve figure out the golden secret, can you please share?! When you’re feeling the pressure and the frustration being built up, don’t ignore it! One way to combat the pressure is giving yourself a “me” day!
Whenever I feel too much pressure, I like to draw back a little bit. I whole heartedly believe in “ME” days! Your “me” days are days to yourself. Give yourself a full day to celebrate yourself and doing things for YOU. Sometimes, I’m too busy with errands to have an entire day to myself, so I try to give myself the mornings or the afternoons. What I usually do during “me” days are wake up early, take myself out to eat and sit at a cafe to do work for my blog. Sometimes I’ll head to the mall and treat myself to one or two things that I’ve been lusting after. These “me” days are so important for my mental health. Try once a month to schedule in a day to celebrate yourself and get a break from all the hard work you’ve been doing. Chasing dreams is no easy task, and if you’re doing it every day, then sometimes you need a breather.
Overall, putting yourself first is important! I challenge y’all, Pineapplers, to take a day for yourself. Celebrate yourself, your accomplishments, your grind and your hustle. If you’ve been chasing your dreams relentlessly, give yourself a small break to relish in everything you’ve achieved so far. Put yourself first, make time for yourself and make sure you’re giving your lifestyle the best options. Share your “me” day stories in the comments below or tag @TQPineapple on Instagram so I can see your “me” day pictures!
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